My Dear Mother-in-Law had the unfortunate luck of undergoing knee replacement surgery this past week. She is now back home recuperating and like all other people who have had that kind of surgery, she is wishing she had just taken a rusty saw and cut the kneecap off herself, without any anesthesia, in that she is sure the post-surgery pain and misery could not have been any worse than what she is currently experiencing.

I called to check on her and was told that she was resting comfortably in her favorite chair and in an effort to minimize her pain, she “pees” on her knee.

OK…..that is a new one. How “peeing” on your knee would alleviate the post-surgical pain associated with having bone and tissue carved from your body….is beyond my idiot level of comprehension.

I tried to visualize the poor lady trying to recline in a chair and going through the process of actually “peeing” on her wounded knee. This is not a memory or vision you want to have of any close relative…..

Maybe modern science had evolved to weird levels that I do not fully comprehend.

I banged my own elbow on a doorway yesterday and it has been causing me great pain and discomfort….so maybe I should “pee” on my elbow.

My mind started to race trying to figure out the painful and awkward positions I would have to contort my body into in order to successfully “pee” on my elbow….without “peeing” all over everything else within a 10 foot radius…..

I thought….”What the Heck….Give it a shot…”

I was just beginning to contort my crippled body into a pretzel-like position to commence the “peeing” therapy when the phone rang.

It was my wife, who is up taking care of her ailing, pee-soaked Mother.

I told my wife what I was about to undertake in order to “relieve myself” of my own elbow pain.

I cannot repeat the vulgar and filthy words that she screamed at me but most of them involved my apparent like of any semblance of common sense and my complete and utter inability to use my God-given brain.

Apparently, to alleviate her knee pain, my dear Mother-in-Law puts a bag of frozen peas on her knee. Peas.

Oops.

As Emily Litella would say…

NEVER MIND!!


From :http://redriverpak.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/a-post-knee-surgery-miracle/